When you start dating someone, you’re totally absorbed with the feeling, and you don’t even think about any age difference in relationships. You may pay more attention to your partner’s interests, habits, and values, but the fact that your sweetheart is older or younger won’t bother you till you face issues. All in all, it’s not just a number, at least in some cases.
What are the most common problems and how to overcome possible difficulties? Keep on reading to discover the main challenges of age gap relationships and find out how to avoid undesired situations.
Do big age gap relationships work?
According to the research, the best age gap in relationships is no bigger than 3 years, when a man is a little older than his wife. The results showed a bigger marital satisfaction compared to other couples, especially those involving a significantly younger husband. However, it doesn’t mean that your romantic story will end up in failure if you and your partner were born in different decades. But also, you should be prepared for possible issues.
For example, large age difference in relationship may be the reason for societal pressure and other challenges. Your environment, including family members, colleagues, friends, and even neighbors will have their opinion concerning a partner who is much older or younger than you. The lack of support is frustrating sometimes, but if you’re happy with the person and strive to make your romance work out, you’ll win. The truth is that such love stories require more thoughtfulness and effort from the very beginning, which can make the connection stronger.
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Problems with age gap relationships
Although there are many happy couples even with a big age gap relationships, some people still face problems. Let’s find out the most common ones:
- Social disapproval. As it was mentioned above, criticism and sarcasm directed toward a significantly older or younger partner may turn into a real challenge for those in love. Some can say that one of you is interested only in money, while others will insist that it’s all about youth and gorgeous appearance.
- Family planning. Many couples face the same problems when there are age gaps in relationships–questions connected with children. One of the spouses might want to have kids, while another already has them and thinks that it’s time to focus on something else rather than to walk through this path again.
- Different mindsets. Normally, people who grew up in different decades were influenced by opinions and norms common to that particular period. Overwhelmingly contrasting views can cause a lack of understanding.
- Power disproportion. Max age difference in a relationship isn’t a problem if there’s harmony in a couple. But it may turn into difficulty if a partner has reached a certain status and prosperity and tries to use the financial dependence of a spouse.
- Children approval. This issue appears both in couples with a small age gap and a big one. However, a larger difference can be a huger problem. Toddlers and teenagers find it hard to accept a person who is much older or younger than their parent.
- Different priorities. Does age matter in a relationship? Yes, if you can’t find a compromise and keep putting other things in the first place than your partner. One of you might prefer to spend time with friends, while another expects to have a romantic dinner with you.
- Lack of attentiveness. For younger partners, it may be harder to understand what their sweetheart has to get through when it’s time to retire from work. A bad mood can be considered as something connected with age, but not with the real issue.
So, is age difference a problem in a relationship? As you can see, there are certain challenges, but most of them can be avoided if you make effort.
Overcoming issues related to age gaps
A romance with an older or younger person may need more work than an average one. Use the following age difference relationship advice to solve any problem:
- Discuss your plans. Identify whether both of you want to have kids in the future and if you have the same goals. It’s important to share your expectations and exchange thoughts concerning your life to adjust the course of your relationship.
- Find common interests. Involve each other in your lives and spend time doing favorite activities of one another. Of course, it will be easier to define such things if you have an average relationship age gap, like 1-3 years. However, in case it’s bigger, you’ll be even more excited to get to know your sweetheart better.
- Accept differences. Try to understand your partner and support the suggested ideas. Normally, there may be a lack of similarities between your views, but it’s necessary to respect the opinion, habits, and decisions of the person you love.
- Avoid controlling your sweetheart. If you’re older, it doesn’t mean that you have to be a teacher and tell what your partner should and shouldn’t do. Age differences in relationships aren’t the reason for showing that you’re smarter, wiser, and more serious just because you’re older. It’s a grown-up who can make both good and bad decisions.
- Set boundaries. No doubt that you should involve each other in your lives, but don’t forget that you’re separate individualities. One of you might like to spend time with friends or take dance classes, while another would prefer to draw or go to a cinema.
- Communicate. Even if you have a good age gap for relationships, you must talk and discuss what you both like and dislike. Describe your feelings and try to find a compromise that would be acceptable for a partner.
- Deal with judgment. If you face social disapproval and permanent critics, prepare a few phrases to respond to comments you frequently hear. Talk to your family members and explain that you’re happy together no matter what. Besides, you may look for support and even ask for advice from a couple involving an older and younger partner.
- Try things together. Why does age matter in a relationship? Because you’re at different stages of your lives and have different experiences. Open other horizons with your sweetheart and create a totally new chapter. Whether you visit a place you both have never been before or take cooking classes, you’ll set a special bond that will be hard to disconnect.
- Respect your relationship. Of course, some problems can put lots of pressure on you two, but think about how happy you are. It doesn’t matter what someone thinks or says about you. If you’re confident about your and your partner’s feelings, relax and enjoy every moment you spend together.
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Whether you have normal age gap in relationships or a big difference, it’s necessary to work on your romance. Even perfect love stories require partners to make effort and be patient. All the described problems can be resolved if you feel that you’ve met the right person who makes you happy. Use recommendations from the article to get rid of any issues and enjoy the most pleasant journey in your life.